I Give Up

Yes, I give up. These are probably the last words you would want to read when you're seeking motivation. Well, I apologize, this isn't one of those TED talks nor is it one of my usual political rants. I completely dedicate this entry to myself and to my fellow bloggers who are most likely experiencing the same. I am here to empathize with you.

I am not complaining about my family. I love them. I love them to the sole entity, the entire existence of my soul. They are the "best" family anyone can ever have, but nothing is perfect and ultimately has its flaws. My father is a tad arrogant, my mother has extreme inferiority complex, and my sister  kisses up to either or both. I on the other hand, am the one who receives the brunt of it all. Though, I am not here to narrate my family's history. Shit like that will remain skeletons in my closet.

I feel unappreciated and misunderstood despite my parents' denial when I open up the issue to them. Before you judge me as that bratty little punk bitch kid that doesn't love his parents and fucking bitches about everything he doesn't get, I assure you that I am still in the right mind and I am NOT undergoing any rebellious phase or anything of the sort.

I don't know. Even if they assure me "You are our son, and we love you  no matter what happens," It still somehow feels like "You are an investment, and when the time comes for us to collect, you better deliver". I don't know, I feel like a 2nd class citizen. The folks somehow find it easier and more convenient to just pass on haste judgement upon me rather than attempting to understand and talk to me. Boy, the first feeling is that I plead fucking guilty. It's seems so simple for them to spit out "You arrogant stupid little punk," than "Why? What's going on? Can I be of help?"

It's easier for them to blame me and me alone without considering at all any variable that lead to my mishap. Indeed, I concede tho the premise that it is human nature for people to see the negative aspects of their neighbors among the positive ones. My mistake was believing that "human nature" didn't apply to "family". I thought fame, shame, pride, face, image, and shit the like didn't matter, and in the end, love prevails, family is stronger. I thought we'd stick it out regardless. Well that was a harsh truth. Probably the most jagged pill I had to swallow. 

Thank God for liquor, and I can now forget this shit as quickly as they forgot that they have a son who came down the mountains searching for home, wherever "home" may be.