I Give Up

Yes, I give up. These are probably the last words you would want to read when you're seeking motivation. Well, I apologize, this isn't one of those TED talks nor is it one of my usual political rants. I completely dedicate this entry to myself and to my fellow bloggers who are most likely experiencing the same. I am here to empathize with you.

I am not complaining about my family. I love them. I love them to the sole entity, the entire existence of my soul. They are the "best" family anyone can ever have, but nothing is perfect and ultimately has its flaws. My father is a tad arrogant, my mother has extreme inferiority complex, and my sister  kisses up to either or both. I on the other hand, am the one who receives the brunt of it all. Though, I am not here to narrate my family's history. Shit like that will remain skeletons in my closet.

I feel unappreciated and misunderstood despite my parents' denial when I open up the issue to them. Before you judge me as that bratty little punk bitch kid that doesn't love his parents and fucking bitches about everything he doesn't get, I assure you that I am still in the right mind and I am NOT undergoing any rebellious phase or anything of the sort.

I don't know. Even if they assure me "You are our son, and we love you  no matter what happens," It still somehow feels like "You are an investment, and when the time comes for us to collect, you better deliver". I don't know, I feel like a 2nd class citizen. The folks somehow find it easier and more convenient to just pass on haste judgement upon me rather than attempting to understand and talk to me. Boy, the first feeling is that I plead fucking guilty. It's seems so simple for them to spit out "You arrogant stupid little punk," than "Why? What's going on? Can I be of help?"

It's easier for them to blame me and me alone without considering at all any variable that lead to my mishap. Indeed, I concede tho the premise that it is human nature for people to see the negative aspects of their neighbors among the positive ones. My mistake was believing that "human nature" didn't apply to "family". I thought fame, shame, pride, face, image, and shit the like didn't matter, and in the end, love prevails, family is stronger. I thought we'd stick it out regardless. Well that was a harsh truth. Probably the most jagged pill I had to swallow. 

Thank God for liquor, and I can now forget this shit as quickly as they forgot that they have a son who came down the mountains searching for home, wherever "home" may be.

Public Execution

     What is life? What is law? What is the law of life? Is it kill or be killed, or is it implementing judgement upon others as just as the eyes of the law see fit?

     Ever since the new administration began pulling the strings around here, well over a hundred drug-related deaths have been recorded and the names on paper gradually become names on tombstones. Sometimes, I make myself think if being identified as a drug user/pusher and confronted by the authorities, have your records state your drug dependence is bad enough. I think it is. Unfortunately, the current administration doesn't. What's "bad enough" or in certain cases, "good enough" for them is your corpse on the floor, a shameful remarking sign on your chest, and your records saying "assault (aggreviated) on a police officer".

     Left and right, people from the slums are being hunted down like game and make the country believe that they were shot justifiably since they "resisted and fought back". I mean, fucking really? Even if I smoke all the pot and crack in the world, I'm not going to "fight the fuck back" a truckload of police officers armed to the bloody teeth, while I grab my water gun. Go figure.

     Now, Senator Leila De Lima, former DOJ Secretary, is filing a request for a probe on the "war against drugs" campaign to find  out if the reported hundred-so killings are actually "justified". The problem with that is that the PNP states that she has insufficient evidence to back up such a case and to which it cannot reach court yet. This is highly suspicious to me because if they're not hiding anything, what harm can it do, right?! Now the majority of poorly educated Filipinos are bashing her online and demands her resignment otherwise they would "impeach" her. On the other hand, I'm here thinking "too bad senators can't get impeached, son. Tough luck". I really find nothing wrong with a simple investigation in which the findings (assuming there will be) will only affect those guilty of the crime. Why is everybody so fucking jumpy?!

     Here's what I think, and I think this is the easiest way to fic this mess. Body cams, right? Friggin' brilliant. All servicemen in the United States be it civilian (police and secret service) or military, each of them wears a body/helmet cam that records their daily operations. What's the purpose? Its purpose is to collect all reliable data of the operation from the operator's point of view, so when shit hits the fan, the who, what, when , where, and how can now be answered.

     "We don't have the money for those equipment, duh. We're a third world country, hello?" NO. ZIP IT. I don't intend ALL servicemen to utilize these things, I only require the operators INCLUDED in the campaign against drugs, the squads and teams that operate and go "on the hunt". You can get a Nike Pro or even tape your own smartphone on your head for all I care, just get it done. Bottomline is we have to know if the men they shoot are ACTUALLY armed AND fighting back, both, not either. At the end of the day, this is one of the simplest answers to the lingering questions, "Are we fighting the war against drugs, or the war against the poor?"