The Man Who Saved Me

What is a hero and how are they defined? What makes them different from everybody else? What is it that makes them distinctly and significantly apart from others? How is heroism attained?

Simple. Perspective.

A hero used to be people who have fought and died for a greater cause. It is someone who have saved the lives of many or the ideals of many. Then as time passed by, heroes became the ones who could fly, spew web, run fast, lift cars, and shoot laser beams from their eyes. A few more years came and heroes were seen as the ones who respond to a fire, or those that fly to foreign land to fight and die for their country's interests, or perhaps those that bring the "half- dead" back to life. Basically, a hero is someone who comes to your aid when in dire straights.

And like others, this is how I saw my heroes, until I realized that these people can't save me. I realized that my problems, my "enemies" are beyond their duty and ability. And then te panic hits.

As the son of a military officer, I have grown disciplined and regulated. I used to have a protocol of things and objectives. With this, I took the spot of batch top notcher from the 1st to 4th grade in Don Basco Technical Institute Makati (DBTI) till I transferred to Immaculate Heart of Mary College (IHMC) in which I was also awarded a few medals and got myself a couple of recognition. As a kid, I was always bullied for this. You see, there are 3 types of boys in DBTI when I used to be there: The bullies, the gays, and the normal kids, including the goal oriented ones. My bullies definitely didn't find me to their liking. I have no clue as to why they hate me to the core, but I am determined to continue my studies to honor my family. These kids then now take it to their fists to vent out all the rage, jealousy, envy, anger, and bitterness they have against me. I would be verbally bullied in class, regardless of the teacher's presence (since a trip to the principal's office isn't news to them), then they would wreck my projects and assignments, they would rip my papers, and they would sometimes hit me. I didn't tell my parents because I was so afraid back then. I was afraid that my parents would do ungodly things to my "friends". Believe me, I've seen my mom and dad pop a couple of nerves before, and it would make massacres look like fiestas. 

There was this one time where my bullies really crossed the line when they brought me to the restroom and swung a couple at me. As I hit the deck, they take my notebooks and drop them in the toilets, Once I got up, I went straight home and played my music. That's when I had an epiphany that have changed the course of my life and brought me up to what I am today. I realized that The Beatles, The Carpenters,Air Supply, Westlife, Backstreet Boys, and Richard Marx (yes, I'm an 80s and 90s kid) won't save me with all their love songs. I needed someone who understands me, someone who understands the struggles, someone I can relate to and he the same. And that's when I found him on the internet. My savior. My whigguh.

Marshall Bruce Mathers III, Slim Shady, Eminem. Why him of the million rappers out there, especially during the early 2000s? It's not because he was the 1st and only white one, but because he was different. He had a different reach among all the other rappers, this is what made a huge impact on me. He didn't rap about the hoods, the streets, gangs, killings, and what not. He rapped about his life, his struggles, his achievements, success, and downfall. He rapped about being bullied when he was a kid, his failed marriage, and the sad fact of losing everything you have once you prioritize something else other than family.Even to this day, he has never rapped about cars, women's behinds and bosoms, riches, fame, and cars. He has also never mentioned "the N-word" his whole career. This is what makes him different from other hip hop artists, and this is what makes him dynamic.

Everytime that I feel down low or angry as hell, I would always have something to come home to. I would go to my room and blast my speakers. When asked to stop, I put on my headphones, blaring. Every lyric, every word play, every line, and every rhyme, I study them, I absorb them, and they make a direct contact with my soul.

Why the obsession? I'm not obsessed. I see the man as my savior, my remedy, my therapy, my medicine. I revere him. As a military oriented family, what officer says, soldiers do. I am not allowed to complain or make any unnecessary statements. When something goes wrong, there is no such thing as "explaining" or "reasoning", there is just "his" perspective. That's when I ask Em for consultance. Once I put my headphones on, he makes me want to fight my problems, fight my fears. "Once more into the fray, to the darkest path I'll ever know. Live and fight another day, live and fight another day."

At the end of the day, heores aren't always historical figures, superhumans, people doing their job.

It will all come down to the value of their existence, and the value of their work to the alleviation of your problems.

The album that started it all.